XXX2021-09-07T20:49:43-03:00

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P.1

Confessions of a Cam Girl

Waking up feels more like falling asleep.

I’ve no place my own to be.

Stars light Christian through a basement window.

He wants me here.

The longer I stay the more afraid I am,

to lose what’s wild and magical.

I’m stray ether way.

In 9 days I’m Stockholmed.

Stocked cupboards,

Still I keep rations in my pack.

Survival habit.

CHRISTIAN:  ‘Why is it so hard to admit you love me?’

I’m considering giving up for him.

Scared someones making this decision for me.

I woke next to Christian this morning.

Kira picked us up a quarter early.

Her and her BF Ken, they’re both so sexy.

The four of us bathe in the sun and sea.

We dove off cliffs and swam to a sail boat.

Along the country back roads,

Ken sped with the windows down.

The sea salt drying in our hair.

I baked pizza and we slept off the sun

before catching it set,

and sharing a frosty chocolate milk shake.

It’s a perfect end to a special day.

So what compels me over to Ryan’s at

11pm? The weed, the love?

It’s obvious when I’m here. I feel like a woman,

over and over and over.

P.2

Levi was probably going to prison on Wednesday.

But instead ended up in our living room laughing.

LEVI: ‘Get it before it’s locked up’

I’m jumping the long line of tinder girls he’s lined up.

And the part I enjoyed the most is my rape fantasy while his body held mine down.

LEVI: I think you’re shy’

ALLIE: I’m shy but I know what I want.’

LEVI: Hey, when you’re there, I’m there.’

He’s like heroin

His pheromones have me on my knees

Levi’s the same age as me.

He’s a criminal and an addict and a womanizer.

An all around fucked up charming 6 foot 5 walking wall of pheromones and charm.

And I’m a hypnotized slut unable to take being this close and told no more by Ryan.

Who scolds me before proceeding to lick Levi’s misogynistic boots.

LEVI: ‘Allie!’

RYAN: Oh she comes when you call.’

LEVI: What! Girl get over here.’

His arm around me is large and warm.

He’s always strut, self satisfied,

in his recent chaotic conquest.

When with him around,

the weight and the warmth of him holding me to his side,

I forget all innocence lost.

I could get up but I’m where I want to be.

When I can’t hold back any longer I squeeze his large soft but callused hand.

RYAN: Hey now.’

And I’m on my toes.

But later that night.

RYAN: ‘Levi’s probably down for a three sum.

          But you got to be the one to make it happen.’

So I blow Ryan.

Wiping his cum off my lips I say,

I’m going to go offer Levi a BJ’

 

[Watching cartoons]

ALLIE: I’m shy, I don’t talk much’

LEVI: You are soft spoken.’

ALLIE: You know, for a guy often in trouble you’re quite wise.’

LEVI: Thank you I think you’re vary smart. You have a beautiful free spirit Allie.’

ALLIE: Can I touch your chest?…’

RYAN: No honey’

ALLIE: I’m sorry Ryan

 

Today he put the living room back the way things were when we first met

and took the set at the table he gave to me back.

If it keeps on like this he’ll turn time right around, and me back out that door.

I want to gush over it to the one person it was most traumatic for.

RYAN: ‘What in my nature makes me what you to stay?’

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